It's civic election season. Suddenly, all sorts of issues are popping up like pure white mushrooms in a pile of newly-shovelled democracy. I've dug up a political waybill from the League Uniting Rodent Voters Everywhere (L.U.R.V.E.). It seems the hamsters are up in arms about Bylaw 3670.79, which was endorsed unanimouse-ly a few months ago by City Council.
3670.79 prohibits any local home from having more than four rodents at any one time. In Vancouver, the limit is six. Regardless, the typical brood of any hamster pair will likely be from eight to twenty pups. This means that anybody mating their hammy pets can expect a knock on the door by the jackbooted enforcers of state dogma friendly neighbourhood bylaw control officer for extraordinary rendition an informed discussion about the merits of 3670.79.
Now that the smell of election is in the air (or at least the smell of rotting pumpkins), maybe the brave, downtrodden members of L.U.R.V.E. will finally see 3670.79 repealed! Power to the hamsters!! Power to L.U.R.V.E.!!!
EDIT: Recent consultations with a high-ranking City official who refuses to be here named have borne the fact that Bylaws like 3670.79 are only enforced if there are citizen complaints. So, what happens in the hamster ball stays in the hamster ball, at least until cleaning time.
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