1492 - Easter Blessings, Blue Jays Style

Easter this year coincides with the opening days of baseball season.  I was watching the Yankees take it to the Blue Jays when the camera panned over the packed crowd at the standing bar above center field.  Did I see what I just did see?  Fortunately, I could use the PVR to go back a minute and freeze the frame.  I ended up taking a photo of the television set with my camera to be able to send along this picture.  Of course, it's really bad to rebroadcast in whole or in part any major league baseball game without written permission. 

1458 - Zhora's Orthodox Christmas

My wife has already used this picture of our hamster Zhora for December 25th.  I decided to post it on JSVB to celebrate January 7th: Orthodox Christmas. 

I've been asked how we convinced our hamster to wear the little hat.  The answer is, we didn't.

Zhora is  not good for posing in front of the camera.  See JSVB Post #1447 (by please clicking here) for proof.   One trick we've learned is to surprise her out in the open with her favourite food.  She will sit and munch chickweed, spinach, or a small piece of fruit very happily.  Usually, she turns her back to the camera, so we have to nudge her to get her to face in a photogenic direction.   I have a good collection of hamster butt photos now, again see JSVB Post #1447. 

And so: the hat.  Zhora and the hat do not get along.  Fortunately, photography is near instantaneous, converting a ten thousandth of a second into something that can last forever.  

I laid the bait, my wife positioned the hamster and I primed the camera with my finger on the trigger.  My wife held the hat above the hamster in such a way that her hand was out of the frame.  I instructed: "On go, I press the shutter and you drop the hat onto Zhora's head!"

3, 2, 1, go!  

My wife dropped the hat and I mashed the trigger button.  The camera took the photo the precise moment the hat touched the hamster.  A twinkling trice after this picture Zhora shook off the hat, stole the food, and ran out of the frame.   

1447 - "This Is For Zhora"

Please click the picture to embiggen.

"Jeff, I need a Christmas card I can e-mail," my wife says.

"How about a holiday photo of our hamster?" I suggest.

Zhora the hamster is notorious for being very, very active.  I've tried dozens of times to take a decent picture of her, and I can say with all honesty that is one is one of the best.  

I made a nice Christmas banner to enliven the photo and I even wrote a Christmas poem (think of Nat King Cole's Christmas Song... Chestnuts roasting on an open fire... etc.):

Camera’s pointing at the chesterfield
Hamster is posing like a pro
Christmas cheer is what we feel
Shooting this Christmas card photo

Everybody knows any turkey can work this gizmo
It helps to set the camera up right
Set the shutter and the f-stop, but oh, no!
You forgot to take the lens cap off, you Luddite

Now the hamster’s done run away
She’s had enough of waiting for me for all flipping day
And when I snap the pic no matter what I try
This is the picture all year you’ll have to abide by

And so I'm offering this Shyluk phrase
To folks who’ve known a hamster or two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Furry Christmas to you! 

Read some more JSVB Christmas poetry, if you dare, by clicking here, here, and here.

I have more Christmas Hamster themes  you can look at by clicking here, but alas (or thankfully, depending if you read the previous links), no more poetry.

1439 - "Princess Hamster"

So here's a picture of our hamster Zhora at the window of her new castle.  She seems ready to wave regally to her loyal, cheering subjects!  

--- --- ---

EDIT: My friend Moose says: "Romeo!  Romeo, where fur art thou?"

I wish I'd said that!

1436 - Hyde Creek In Late Autumn

In late autumn, nearby Hyde Creek is loaded with fall colours.  A tickertape parade of leaves fall from the trees to greet the arrival of salmon which have come to spawn here.  

This is close to the same vantage point I used for my Hyde Creek artwork in JSVB Post #112, way back in May of 2010.  Please click here to see it! 

 

1429 - "That Bear Photo"

Walking through the forest, I revelled in how the clear sunlight poured down through the green and bronze leaves like wine from a decanter.  I doubly delighted in the simple wisdom of remembering to bring along my camera.  

Salmon make busy, sinewy water splashes as they spawn.  When I hear that sound, I go to the creekside to see what the fish are doing.  Sometimes, I'm not the only one attracted to the salmon.  

This bear was as far away from me as you'd be from your television set watching a movie at home.  My camera doesn't have any special lenses, so there was no fancy zoom as I snapped a couple of quick pictures of this particular junior bear feeding on salmon.  Then both the bear and I chose to go our separate ways: the bear took the salmon and I kept my photos.  

1421 - Now That's A Big Leaf

Either a large leaf, or my wife has shrunk.

1412 - Steampunk Ottawa

   I recently had the opportunity to visit briefly Ottawa city, Canada's capitol.  I was struck by the congruity of gothic and modern architecture.  Ottawa boasts several different architectural types, including Gothic, French revival, Art Deco, American Colonial and Modern.

   Shooting this photo into the sun, I saw a Steampunk landscape.  Steampunk is fanciful, it combines the gothic ethos of pointed, cathedral-like stone architecture with the dawn of industrialism, coincidentally a period when global exploration would be exploited by mass media.  You take this confluence and bring the technology to modern standards without changing the aesthetic, and you get steampunk.  It's gritty and intimidating, but also exciting as well, the idea that Nature can be tamed through superior technology.

  Steampunk is a companionable opposite to Art Nouveau (see JSVB Posts #1404 and  #1408) where unruly Nature breaks through the confines of the man-made world.  I've been looking around: I've been seeing some really great new Art Nouveau style pieces, call it Nouveau Art Nouveau.  We're reaching the same point in our culture that was perceived by the artists of the original Art Nouveau period: our technology has become powerful enough once again to sublimate our society and it remains to be seen how Nature will react and adapt.  Historically, that process has been most painful.

1387 - The 75% Solution

I know for a fact that there are people walking around in the big world out there who look a lot like me.  Doppelgangers.

I've previously been mistaken for a delinquent college drop-out, a hotel manager, and someone who works on a movie set - none of which are me, but none of which are all that far from me, either.  I met the hotel manager; we do strongly resemble one another.  I even have Jeff Shyluk as my cousin, although we don't look much like at all.  His claim to fame is dressing up as the Molson Old Style Pilsner Rabbit for Saskatchewan Roughrider games.  There's no easy way for me to explain how this works if you don't know about CFL football and prairie beer.

So, I'm kind of used to seeing myself out in the wild when it's not me.  Above is a picture I pulled (without permission, but I am using it for personal illustration) from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation  website.  I included the arrow just to make certain which person I think looks like me.  Or at least seventy-five percent like me, not a clone, but in a dark room from a few feet away I bet we'd look enough alike. 

The man in the middle with the hat is Robi Botos, the feature of the photo.  He's a Canadian jazz pianist living in Toronto.  The rest of these people are his friends, and that's all the CBC had to say about them.  

The friend with the arrow has either a guitar strap round his neck or more likely a strap for a large saxomophone.  I used the Internet to find saxomophonists who are likely to play with Robi Botos, and the name and picture for Seamus Blake came up.  Most pictures of Mr. Blake look only maybe 50% like me, so this CBC photo is a bit of a fluke.  Still, recent portraits of the man show some resemblance to me.  Plus, although he lives in New York, he has roots in Vancouver.  It's not outside the realm of possibility that we could run into each other, especially at the posh hotel with that manager.  

 

1279 - Fastback Baby Crib

My Father sent me a care package: my baby crib from the 1960's.  The picture is of a toy Mustang Fastback from Ford, but it's a replica of the car my Dad was driving when I was born.  

The toy is sweet.  It's got a battery compartment and a motor that drives the rear wheels, and it has a mechanical bump-and-go arrangement in the front to allow it to steer automatically.  There's two flashing lights in the rear window so I couldn't lose the car in the dark.  It's not in bad shape being mostly made of metal, but it's obviously been loved and played with.

 It's also a replica of the Fastback my Dad drove, right down to the paint scheme and the interior colours.  It's also pretty similar to Steve McQueen's Mustang in "Bullitt" (1968).  I think when my Mom saw that film, she convinced Dad to get rid of the car.  I don't remember it well, but my parents have pictures of me learning to walk by grabbing onto the wheel well.  I wouldn't have been much taller than the tire.

Dad traded the Mustang for a Ford Cortina, which is as tame a car as the name would imply.  The tiny Cortina quickly was sold to make room for a Ford Galaxie 500, a land yacht that had enough room in the back seat for me to park the car I own now.  The gas crisis hit, and the Galaxie was traded in for a Ford Pinto.  I think you see the progression here: big engine then little engine.  The Pinto got smashed, and we bought a Fairmont, a Taurus SHO, a Tempo, a Bronco pick-up, and finally a series of Escorts and Focuses.  Dad worked for Ford all of his career so he was able to get fleet vehicles, which is why we changed cars so many times.  Or maybe he just likes "new car smell".

 

1250 - Cartoon Cloud

This was the view out my front door today: a cerulean blue sky and a single white puffy cloud.  What a ridiculous cloud.  It looks exactly like the sort of cloud I was taught to draw when making cartoon animation.

So, I suspect it's really flying saucer aliens hiding behind a holographic image of a cloud, the first logical screen they could produce in a hurry when they saw me coming out the front door and they scanned my tinfoil-hatless brain for images.  If so, my loyal JSVB readers will no doubt see the UFO where I just see an improbably generic cloud.  

 

1203 - Was Missed In The Mist

Fortunately, the dank flesh-eaters of the fog didn't get me, or else how would I be able to present this photo?  Well, I suppose hikers could have found my abandoned camera after the fact, and my wife would have let them make JSVB Post #1203.  Spooky.

 

1201 - Was Waylaid In The Woods

There's nothing like gothic photography to bring the shortcomings of your personal life into sharp focus. 

 

1154 - Khreem Smith Jersey

Here's a picture of my wife wearing the jersey from football player Khreem Smith.  It's a real game-worn uniform complete with grimy spots, tears and mends, and some tailoring to make the shirt sit correctly over body protection.

It turns out that Mr. Smith is six inches taller than  my wife. Even so, the jersey fits her better than it would fit me: she's svelte. 

I'm going to wish my wife a very happy birthday a couple of days early.  Her birthday falls on Ungood Art Day, but I believe I'll be too busy to blog for the next few days.  I'll post for Ungood Art Day retroactively in the next while.  I know my wife wants to see this picture, so I am posting it now.  If you see this in time, make sure you congratulate her on another trip around the sun, and please to note how every year she seems to be getting younger.  I mean, check out this picture.  That is one young, young birthday girl!

 

1128 - "Layover"

"You have that look on your face again."

"Yeah.  I was thinking of something."

"Tell me."

"Can't."

She pouts.  "You know that's not the answer I'm looking for."

His hand is as large as her bare shoulder.  He pulls her close, not caring to be gentle.  Her lips against his remind him of candy.  Even from behind drawn blinds, the morning sun feels like a blast furnace.  The fan buzzes like a beehive.  His fingers curl into her hair as he draws her close.  Her arms enfurl him, her unclad body presses into his.  She is enveloped by his presence, the spice of his sweat, his rough-tanned limbs drawing her into his wished-for position.  She gasps.

Eventually, he and she roll away.  He lights her cigarette.  She breathes in greedily.

"You'll be in Topeka tonight?"

"Yeah.  Then Madison.  That's my line for this week, I gotta fill in for one of the captains called in sick.  Overtime for me."

She stubs out her cigarette.  His hat is on the bedside table, hanging on the edge where it had landed.  She leans over him, unmindful of the bedsheets as they slip.  She puts his hat on her heat.  It's three sizes too big for her.  

The fan blades correlate to an engine in his mind.  He's already halfway to Topeka.

 
"Make me an omelette?"  He looks forward to fried onions in his buttered eggs.

1089 - Futureceptor

Another car show photo, and just a portion of a concept car.  Still, even this small piece conveys an incredible sense of speed and futurism.  Concept cars normally don't have even an engine, they just show off a sense of art style that the manufacturer may use to make their cars more attractive. 

Whoever built this model was masterful.  Even at rest, every line of the car is built to show the flow of forward motion.  Perhaps most incredible was the paintwork.  The stylized panelling was covered with the most remarkable paint I have ever seen: it had a holographic depth.  It looked like you could dip your hand right into it.  I've seen pearlized paint before, but this was far beyond that.  I'm guessing the painters used some sort of lenticular laser etching process either on the paint after it was applied, or else they mixed an untold number of holographic beads into the paint.  

The play of light on this car was unbelievably vibrant, which I tried to capture with this shot.  Seen in person, it was simply amazing.  I was later told that special technicians wearing custom-made gloves handled this car into the show, and that the representatives were expressly forbidden to touch it, let alone anybody from the public. 

1088 - Classic Pontiac

Although I am a Ford man, I can still appreciate the artistry of the other manufacturers.  

1082 - "Portable Butter"

 Since the invention of butter, carrying butter has been difficult, since it's just solidified milk fat and therefore slippery.

By fashioning a convenient surface-mounted edible carrying handle for the butter, my butter now becomes portable: portable butter.

1070 - "Mary Of Midnight"

Finishing my Nativity icon took me well into the wee hours.  Do you ever hang around churches at midnight?  Sometimes they can be strange places.  Heading back to my car after finishing the painting, I noticed this statue beaming in the night.  

It's lit by its own spotlight after dark, so nothing supernatural goes on here.  But the tone of the illumination matched exactly the moonlight that was filtering though low cloud and nocturnal fog.   I found my camera in the trunk of my car and marched back to the site to frame this shot.  

The halo is not an effect, rather it's real moonglow that I positioned behind Our Lady's head. I'm pleased with how the composition of this shot came together: I doubt I'd ever get the same quality of light again.  It was like the sky was filled with quiet beatitude, a rare enough and personal moment in our modern world.

1060 - "Do You Like Our Owl?"

When a cluster of your neighbours gather in a group on your driveway under the pale light of a full moon and gaze up at the sky, it's high time to stop watching that television movie and get outside to see exactly what's going on.

In this case, our local barred owl took refuge in the tree in our front yard.  The neighbours took some pictures and so did I.  The owl was extremely obliging.  Barred owls don't seem to mind humans very much.