Tuesday, June 14, 2016

1255 - San Jos-Egg Sketch

The 2016 Stanley Cup came and went this year without much regard from my house.  It featured a team I care little about playing a team I'd like to see dumped into a deep sewer. The sewer team won, of course.  

Still, since the San Jose Sharks have never been to the Cup before, I needed to draw them a chicken-themed logo.  I made a small pencil test of how a shark can be converted into a chicken.  It looks more like a sharp moose.  

I wonder what the new Las Vegas NHL logo will look like chickenized.  How long will it take for them to reach the final round of playoffs? 


Monday, June 13, 2016

1254 - Next To Godliness

The Russians, at least in Tom Clancy novels, use the insult nekulturny.  It's a heavy insult, and it translates (I think) to "mannerless, ignorant fool", but as a curse.  

For today's Ungood Art Day, then, I will be nekulturny and post someone else's Ungood Art instead of my own.  Why?  Because it makes me laugh.  So what's so funny?  The artist is doing what they think is best, but in their earnest journey for artistic truth they overlook an obvious mistake and plow ahead to the conclusion anyways.  It's textbook Ungood Art.

One example is my friend Earl's chili recipe, which features two kilos of ground beef, chopped walnuts and water chestnuts, but no tomato all cooked on 7 until it's done.  Just the thought of following that recipe to its conclusion makes me laugh until I weep.  However, Earl has a counterpoint: Bitter Litter, a University-era performance piece where I am definitely at my Ungoodest.  So, I won't tease Earl about his chili.

Instead, I have this photo taken at the graduation of my ukulele class.  Yes, I can play the uke, a little anyhow.  I'm easy to see in this picture because I am tall and wearing orange.  I'm also standing next to Frank, who at the moment of the photograph being snapped chose to transcend Buddha-like into a new plane of existence. 

We're posing for the photo, and Jen the Instructor notices that sunbeams from the overhead skylight make Frank's shirt glow a little.  Oh well, she thinks she could fix it in Photoshop.  A little glow is an understatement.  This is God's own spotlight directed full force on the face of Frank, who appears far more angelic in the photo than he does when you meet him in real life.  

This is likely one of the worst photographs I have seen.  The fact that I am in it just makes it even sweeter.  I may even frame it and keep it in the kitchen for whenever I make chili. 

Friday, June 10, 2016

1253 - Happy Birthday To Me (7)

Today's JSVB Post features a comic book character spanking another comic book character.  If you don't wish to see that, please do not scroll down. 

Judge Dredd & Judge Hershey.  Judge Dredd is The Law!  Click to embiggen.

Hello, and welcome to JSVB on my birthday.  As a present to myself, I like to come up with something I wouldn't ordinarily do.  It helps if it's a little racy, but I also like to try to push my technique.

Attention to line quality is lost when you're looking at a picture of Judge Dredd spanking Judge Hershey.  So instead of discussing my struggles with keeping my inks tight, I'll mention Hershey struggling on Dredd's lap.

Of course, violence against women is shameful.  Dredd, however, is an R-rated violent, not-politically-correct officer of the Law of MegaCity One.  Consider a futuristic, satirical Dirty Harry dialed up to eleven.  

Dredd hits women, at least those who are bigger and meaner than him.  Dredd hits men, quite a large number of them.  He even hits children, although in the form of a judicial spanking.  He hits mutants, dogs, robots, rats, alligators, dinosaurs, Santa Claus, sea monsters, and space aliens.  Dredd has hit Stan Lee.   Dredd punched Death in the face so hard that his clenched hand smashed through the back of Death's skull. ("Gaze into my fist!" Dredd growls.)  One of the joys of Dredd is seeing exactly who or what he will have to hit to make it to the end of the story.  At its most creative, the Dredd comic supplies an amazing variety of villains for the Judge to punch.  

So yes, Dredd is violent, but the violence is seldom presented in a serious manner.  His stories are a skewed view of American morality.  Dredd is powerfully brutal, but he is completely abstinent when it comes to sex.  The comic rarely deals with intimacy or sensuality, likely because those things are generally outlawed in MegaCity One.  

Judge Dredd and Judge Hershey, motorcycle cops of the future, were created by writer John Wagner and artist Carlos Ezquerra.  They currently belong to Rebellion Developments. 


Sunday, June 5, 2016

1252 - Dredd Sketch

I don't collect comic books very much, although my weakness is Judge Dredd.  My friend Tony, when visiting, pointed out that there is a Judge Dredd comic book in every room of my house just in case anybody wishes to read one.  

So, I am drawing Dredd for JSVB.  It needs more work.  It will get more work.  

Thursday, June 2, 2016

1251 - Seattle Sunburn, a.k.a. The Red Claw

We went to Seattle to take in a ballgame.  Who knew it would be sunny?  I thought it rained every day there.  Instead, I got a pretty wicked sunburn.  I did manage to get some lotion on my irradiated skin, but it's obvious I was too late to avoid the initial solar blast.  I expect the burnt skin ought to come off like an opera glove in the next couple of days.  

The Mariners won, an astounding 16-4 over the San Diego Padres.