Yesterday, CERN, the European Organization For Nuclear Research, announced that they have nearly conclusively proved the existence of the Higgs boson, the elusive subatomic "God Particle" that may hold the key to understanding how matter behaves in our universe. While the Higgs boson has been accepted as a strong candidate for being a fundamental building block of matter, until now it could only be seen as a theoretical construct.
I see current subatomic physics as building a model with Lego, but not understanding quite what the pieces look like. If the knobs aren't where you expect them to be, your model helicopter is going to fall apart. The discovery of most of the significant properties of the Higgs boson means that we have a good idea of exactly what the most common and functional of Lego blocks must look like. Not only can we build better models in the future, they can also be much more sophisticated. Without exaggeration, I can suggest that we may be entering a new Age of civilization.
Unfortunately, we aren't quite done with the Information Age just yet. Witness our local newscaster, who asked the CERN scientists to describe what the God Particle looks like. Well, it's subatomic, which means that we cannot see it. Yes, okay, but what does it look like? We cannot see it. Yes, okay, so can you describe it? Well, not without a doctorate in subatomic physics. What we can do is see what it does in the Large Hadron Collider.
Not everybody has a degree in physics, so I dug a little deeper than the local newscaster. I analyzed the CERN data and came up with a computer-generated image simulation of what the Higgs boson must look like:
Well, twenty years from now when nobody remembers who Dr. Sheldon Cooper is, this probably won't be such a hot visual joke, but I tried.
Even so, after I had committed to this image for JSVB, my wife and I had this little comedy exchange:
HER:
I know what the God Particle looks like.
ME:
Oh, yeah? What?
HER:
It looks like a little tiny Jesus.
ME:
A little tiny Jesus?
HER:
I bet you can't tell me whether or not the God Particle is Catholic or Protestant.
ME:
Uhhh, Catholic?
HER:
Nope! Protestant.
ME:
Protestant?! How come?
HER:
Because there's no mass, you big silly.
(Rimshot, exuent omnes.)
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