Friday, March 3, 2017

1346 - "The Drunken Data"

My wife tells me that today is "Lieutenant Commander Data Appreciation Day".  The reason for this is a conceit built into the Star Trek: Next Generation episode "Cause And Effect".  In the episode, the number three saves the Enterprise from repeated destruction while being caught in a treacherous time loop.  Mr. Data uses 3's to reason out a non-lethal exit from the trap.  And... today is the third day of the third month, so more threes.  You put threes and Data together and you get Data Appreciation Day.  It only gets worse on May the Fourth, you know. 

The picture is my tribute to The Drunken Data.  It's something I wish I had a photograph of, but I know I captured the essence of Drunken Data in my sketch.  This was the second night of the San Francisco Star Trek Convention, and I was still reeling from an event earlier in the day where I attempted to seduce actress Terry Farrell and not only failed horribly but was shot down by her in front of a shocked audience.  And that, dear JSVB readers, is a long, miserable story right there.  So I needed a nightcap, and I dragged my wife and her brother to the hotel lounge where thankfully the bartender had no concept of how to portion drinks.  I ordered a nice whiskey, and she poured me a triple or maybe it was a quadruple.  Whatever it was, I could only drink half and I kept the other half in my hotel room to drink the next day.  

At the bar was The Drunken Data.  He was a true likeness of Brent Spiner in an authentic Star Trek uniform and skin paint, only that he was maybe twenty or twenty-five years old.  Still, he was one of those people who very strongly resemble the characters as you see them on TV.  And he was skunk-drunk.  He laughed loudly and heartily at everything which in itself was pretty funny, considering Data.  And he was unable to hold himself upright, although he could stand on his feet.  He leaned to the left thirty degrees off true, though.

I bet he wondered by the hotel was tilted that night.  I did not envy him his hangover the next day.